When people hear the word commitment, they generally think of an ‘other’: a partner, a child, a job, an education, finishing a book, starting an exercise or skincare routine, getting up earlier, sleeping better, accomplishing a goal, big or small… the list is endless.

One commitment that tends to get overlooked or pushed to the side is the one we make to the self. Even though our relationship with our self is ‘til death do us part, we can’t seem to put that relationship first for various reasons: we get too busy, we have too many other commitments, it’s seen as selfish, why bother, it’s too hard.

And it is very hard, at times. It is not an easy thing to do because committing to the self means to observe, accept and listen to the whole self, even the parts we so desperately would like to change or avoid. It takes a balance of patience and openness to both the triumphs we have and the mistakes we make, the habits we formulate, the quirks we all possess. It’s sometimes going against the grain or the norm in order to honor who you are and would like to be, all while realizing it is a constantly evolving process rather than a finite goal. It’s a slow grind, putting in work that most people might not see or understand and also being lighthearted about the craziness of it all, laughing about it along the way and constantly being humbled and learning from the people around you.

As we celebrate the relationships we hold dear this weekend, with partners, friends and family members, I’d also ask you to include your self in that celebration. Committing to honoring this relationship, whether it be showing up in big or small ways, leaving a little extra space for both the hard things and for the fun, joyful dance of life, is worth it. And in a weird, messy way, it’s romantic, not only for yourself but also for the people in your life who celebrate you, the whole you, on a daily basis.